Because I have been asked countless times, I have finally decided that I should just bite the bullet and explain a bit.
My ex left my daughter and I in the middle of the night on my daughter’s first birthday. He didn’t just leave our house, he left the state. He went from California to Massachusetts.
Why do you ask? He is selfish and self centered. When all attention was not on him he decided to have an affair. His mistress is even worse than he is, in my opinion. She not only KNEW about my daughter and I, she LIED about her grandpa being hospitalized when her family found out about my (now ex) husband still being married. She thinks it is A-OK to be with a “man” who not only lies and cheats, but a “man” who abandons his child.
Funny story, but not really funny: a friend of mine has a mutual friend with my ex-husbands mistress. According to the mutual friend, throughout high school the mistress could never land a boy to date. So when she found Sean, she decided to cling on without caring who she hurts. She thinks she is going to be step mom to my daughter, but my ex signed away all his rights.
Backtrack to court. My ex decided to be a no show to every single court date. He also decided to not court call in, which the judge pre approved him to do since he was out of state. This means he literally just sits on the phone on muted until the judge addresses him, mainly just to ask if he can hear everything. It was always the lawyers doing all the talking. Not only was he a no show, he also NEVER filled out the appropriate response to the divorce paperwork OR his income and expense paperwork. Because of this, the judge couldn’t do a thing. He couldn’t issue a child support order without knowing his income, he could only issue something that was already in affect: me having sole legal and sole physical custody. Finally after the third time of being a no show and him FINALLY calling into court, the judge slightly threatened him to get his papers done before our next date.
Our next date was our mediation which he had to appear in person for. He was a no show to court 4 times, he rescheduled mediation the maximum number of times, so now he had no choice but show up or face legal action. Not to any surprise, he gave up all his legal and physical rights. All he gets is supervised visitation if and when he visits California. He is also allowed to call or FaceTime whenever he wants, but a month has gone by since our mediation and he has not yet tried once. After mediation, we had our SOC (settlement officers conference). Same day, just two hours later. Mediation there are zero lawyers involved, and SOC lawyers come in and hash everything out. My lawyer walked in, looked at me, and said “so is this him?”. I followed up with “Yup.” to which she replied, “so are you ready to get divorced today?”. Surprisingly nothing was a fight until it came to child support. I ended up having to fold just to get him to sign the papers. He is paying half of what he should. He is also not having to pay legal fees, like he should, since HE is the one at fault for the divorce. It cost over 2k just to serve him papers because he was not responding to his doorman. It cost anywhere from 2-5k each time he was a no show in court. Yet I am the one footing the bill. And raising his daughter alone.
Everything is over now, at least legally. I’ll be paying off all these legal fees for a while, but I have my daughter and that is all I need.